I'm too scared. Too scared to take a leap of faith, to trust myself and my own beliefs.
I did a Tarot reading for someone, and I was pathetic. Because I had no information, I kept doubting what I was reading and I'd just put it back in the deck, reshuffle, try again. Rinse wash repeat. This is not the conduct of a good reader. This is amateurish and unfair to my querent. I finally asked her to give me more information, and she said a few things that made past cards make sense. I finally dealt a spread and forced myself to leave it. I saw things - I saw hope, I saw possibilities involving children, I saw possible relationship troubles and distractions.
I did not tell her this. The bravest thing I said was that there was a male, father-figure influence in her life - and even then, I copped out and said that that could also be an inner-voice, not just a physical father. Turned out it did allude to a father. Everything else, I glazed over, vague and empty, and when she came back to me with feedback, she said some things... and I knew I had seen those. I just hadn't said anything. I had been too afraid of being wrong, presumptuous.
Fear of rejection, fear of being wrong.
And recently, there was a cultural clubs thing at my uni, where all the clubs had their stalls. I wanted to join the gay/bi/lesbian group, I fully intended to do so. Did I? No. I was too scared.
I never pictured myself like this. Argh. Why can't I just leap into the unknown for once?




One of the things that I did that gave me more confidence and practice is go online to a chatroom and tell them that I am offering free tarot readings. People IM in droves, so you have to thin them out. I don't read for people who are rude, and demanding. Polite people get a reading.
StarcrazePick one and tell others to wait or ignore them. Ask the person where they are from and what their star sign is to help you tune into their energy. View profile if necessary. Tell them to ask you a question. Tell them it will take several minutes to do a reading and that you will email them the entire reading when you are done.
Do the reading all at once. Whatever the cards tell you, just type it all out, any impressions you get that are not in the cards, images that come into your mind, and the card's actual meaning. Explain to the querant how the cards relate to each other. Read the whole thing over, and edit out the things that you think don't belong, but don't edit out too much.
Email it to the querant, and wait for feedback.
I have found that the idea that online readings can't be accurate is a false assumption. Plus, it gives me a lot of practice and helps me to keep a record of not only the reading, but what the querant thought about the reading.
Don't be so hard on yourself... and good luck.
07:34 AM CST